Harwich

April 15, 2009


Harwich

When entering the United Kingdom never ever try to import drugs or cheap cigarettes. If you work in a quarry do not travel in your working clothes because sniffer dogs will smell the explosives. The British Police, and Customs and Excise do this in order to stop smaller criminals smuggling. Most contraband is smuggled in by private yacht through remote harbours and is never reported in the press. This is uniquely English making criminal activity big business, not universal, not petty. Portrayed in the TV as affable ordinary citizens, be extra polite to policemen. If you loose a new or expensive bicycle in England it is rumoured, perhaps unfairly, they end up in the back gardens of policemen. Never ask a policeman why they never find stolen bicycles: They fall down laughing. In England you rarely or never see a policeman. This is because they are disinclined or scared to come out of police fortresses. If you see one its only they are out showing off new vehicles, weapons, shopping or buying expensive coffee. Some old fashioned ‘Bobbies’ still exist though.

When a foreigner enters the United Kingdom he or she is immediately under observation by video cameras. Almost all are high resolution and admissible in court but police still need permission to see video evidence. In London Underground microphones listen in to conversations. Remember the British Royal Family admired Hitler before Churchill restored respectability to British politics. All e-mails and telephone conversations are monitored by GCHQ and can be passed on to the FBI and CIA. Key words are targeted by automated computers. Some of this information is available to tiny minded officials locally. Despite portrayal as 007 James Bond awkward people are occasionally ‘nudged’ on to the other side, or badgered into suicide, as with Alan Turing and The Profumo Pimp Stephen Ward.

If you want to save your life by cycling on the pavement remember this is a serious offence in the United Kingdom. So do not break the law in England. It is not worth it and you will only get caught.

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