Archive for August, 2009

Edwalton

August 30, 2009

On an English August Bank Holiday marvellously dry and blustery the Messerschmidt Blonkwem Blom (MMB) hubschrauber manufactured in “München”, Deutschland hovers over Trent Bridge shadowing perhaps youths joyriding through The Meadows where a pseudo man, police men photograph a mini street party of racial harmony to show to their funders and the English Government, the suits who may never venture in to the Real World.

Don’t München it to them but the MBB is popular with the English Police because of their belief in the Wirtschaftswunder and the new model performs twice as good as the last version.

Quite bizarrely the helicopter is Green and Yellow rather than Black or even Navy Blue.

On the radio as if by magic Philip Larkin narrates ‘The Whitsun Weddings’ in his own voice when he is compelled to look out over England alighting eventually at Coventry a lament about leaving Hull by train and now this rendering Ending the Summer of 2009. He has in fact crossed the Midlands.

The poem is set in The English Midlands in the 1950s and no other work quite describes how the world once was.

Germany has no equivalent (to the English Midlands) being split between BRD and DDR Germany has no middle just a left and right, a east and west.

Down below Rhubarb grows in the foothills of Edwalton just as well as in the allotment plots in St. Anne’s both visible at once from the hovering helicopter. On mock dwarf Himalayan Mountains of Duthy Park, Aberdeen Rhubarb grows imported from India to grow in acid heathland soils as was the wildfire Rhododendron. Like the Hindu Religion it thrives where it is planted as long as the conditions are favourable.

In Edwalton rich Hindus entertain their bank holiday wedding guests in sloping gardens once the homes of John Bull type entrepreneurs, whose offspring and inheritors have mysteriously disappeared perhaps to Spain.

Of those asked in a survey in ASDA 9 out of 10 said The Spirt of Enterprise had deseted The English Native.

Among the Asians there is a air of self confidence of a Reverse Colonisation.

In flat West Bridgford Hindu English Asians have discovered in 2009 the near Planned Town suddenly but live in no particular location like Sikhs and the Moslems are also dispersed almost as an idealised harmonious community. Houses like in Finchley by Ugandan Asians fleeing Idi Amin in 1975 were bought with sackfulls of cash.

In West Bridgford the check out staff look hand picked to reflect the demographic complexion of the shoppers. (Of those surveyed 9 out of 10 were happy and joyous to find themselves working at ASDA).

This matching of staff occured also in Museums of Mankind (closed) and Pompeii a ruined Roman city near modern Naples in the Italian region of Campania.

England’s island status always allowed them to be liberal enough to embrace strangers once collectively known as foreigners.

Politicians with Oxford Degrees in History, Economics and Politics on the Right of Political Spectrum like Michael Heseltine (quietly retired to an Oxfordshire village)and Kenneth Clark the MP for Rushcliffe who will also not want, are reassuring to a population quivering at the thought of being over-run by foreigners.

The West Bridgford housewife meanwhile in the queue in ASDA whatever their class or income carries on buying cheap clothes from India, Pakistan and China oblivious or even couldn’t care less.

Fear of Imports like Cheap Clothes and Hinduism will fade and new generations will wonder what the Fuss Was All About.

Obviously by the time it dawns on the English The German Masterplan for Europe will be complete.

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Rugby Warwickshire

August 30, 2009

To fathom The English Midlands in the New Century you must cycle into it carrying a degree certificate in your Ortlieb waterproof satchel, a degree presumeably in The Proverbial Bleedin’ Obvious.

To understand immigrant multicultural England you have to have stood on Rugby station and have your Indian Train Captain stick his hand out stopping you boarding the Virgin Pendelino Manchester bound train only to be over-ruled by the local White Girl Station Master phoning ahead and allowing you on.

If you are Lancastrian the Yorks do not love you, or you or you.

It takes a while t observe what happened in the Midlands.

Coventry-born Sir Frank Whittle’s aircraft manufacturer in Wartime English Rugby, with its village green centre air of a parochial solicitor’s office and Public School heritage emblematic and central to England.

Radial chalked railways are ghost lines in to Rugby a lost crossroads of a faded country. On the platform, a vision of biblical desolation with lost souls costmued like the ethnic culture pictures in an old school geography book.

This diversity is refected across in the East Midlands, ending in the oft White Trash enclave backwaters of Ilkeston, Erewash, Heanor and Sutton in Ashfield and over to the more rustic Sutton on Trent to the The Genetic Central Heartland of Indigenous White England.

These are not poor, motorised they retreated in business secrecy and rural geographical location policy to the hills of Staffordshire and Derbyshire sidestepping the invading hordes in to the damned Sodom and Gemorah cities of Leicester, Derby and Nottingham, and the town of Loughborough.

Meanwhile ignoring the poor Universities developed as independent cities only driving through the riff raff to get into lecture at a comfortable ten o’clock especially in colegiate Leicester, Derby and Nottingham, and the town of Loughborough. In Lenton and Dunkirk 85% are demographic students and do not vote.

Unloved they leave flats trashed and rubbish in the streets only to be pilfered by the local poor.

Aging white Stake Holders are forced on to the back foot. All groups armed with their religions vie for position. Mosque domes emerge from the wreckage like Giant Mushrooms in places like Forest Fields.

In These Mean Times, London Road, Leicester becomes a wealthy Asian Hilltop Village and lowly Loughborough Road becomes entirely Asian in a generation.

On the the most crowded island England population increases send Waves of Fear among the population. West Indians join in condemnation of ‘Foreigners’.

At about the same time on the West Bridgford Dyke s Gujurati/Panjabii woman in national costume walks her wolf like Alsation as the Lowland Residence leaves morality to daft ordinary people to socially order themselves. The LaLa Trumpton Lady Bay woman keeps on minding it’s business.

After Big Bang which was the deregulation of The City of London opening Polite Softies to all The Savages of World Business and their Savagery but leaving the English Poor to Suffer The Consequences.

Ah well! As an old Brahmin proverb says ‘Every Era has It’s Slaves’.

Modern Industry Offices are young, multi cultural with a Great Happy Future.

The battle of Earthly Religions is fighting a skermish floating as cloud figures over England.

People watch this battle from below knowing once its over they will be dead.

Hockley

August 29, 2009


The weather cycle of 15 years in England is vindicated as 2009 is similar to 1964. From a planthouse on the terraced sloped allotments of Hunger Hill Allotments the magnificently tilting (and faded) gardens where once famous for Dig For Victory.

Today the weather sheers in mirroring the peaks and troughs of the lie of the land in Nottingham. Its only a sunny shower heralding the End of Summer.

St Annes Well Road laid out like a stream’s course, to climb, to climb to fall, to fall, asailed by the weather.

Hunger Hill Road is the Great Social Divide between Mapperley Top and St. Anne’s.
There is a shortcut from Sherwood to St. Anne’s rising very steeply through shaded opulence of Mapperly.

Radial or parallel ridges define Nottingham here. The contrast of Sherwood and adjacent Forest Fields to smug and remote Mapperley is staggering. There is a feeling of Dark Forest Slopes.

Forest Fields is a grid iron of artisan streets bejewelled with a Mosque occasionally, and slung on a slope behind Hysen Green.

Sherwood, flanking Sherwood Rise a figment and deeply evocative. Each day there same scenes are acted out, the actors almost coreographed. The wealthy have left for gentle slopes beyond Uttoxeter long ago, the poor remain here but the bond link with the recent and distant past is tangible. Perhaps its the name ‘Sherwood’.

The ugly image of Nottingham is a teenage mum with a gun. A cemetry lies between Sherwood and Nottingham Castle the dead lying where they fell: A poingiant reminder of The Sherrif of Notingham and The Men of Sherwood.

The wealthy steathily sneak around the shady wooded slopes of Mapperley now. Their characteristics are tenacity and moving around unnoticed.

Now The Midlands of England are branded by the people who live there themselves as a Place to Escape From.

Stragglethorpe, Radcliffe-on-trent

August 25, 2009

Apparently when Gordon Brown orchestrates the Cabinet Seating Layout he points saying ‘Gay, Woman, Bloke, Gay, Woman, Bloke’ until he gets round the 32 seat ovoid table pointing to himself saying nobody knows what.

Nathan Freudenthal Leopold, Jr. and Richard Albert Loeb were two Wealthy Jews who murdered Bobbo Franks, a 14 year old boy in Chicago in 1924, to commit The Perfect Crime and demonstrate The Uebermensch Principle. Intriguing the timing and location of young intellectual Jews indulging in uebermensch thoughts when Bridgit Hammann in Hitler’s Wein (Vienna) implies that about the same time Hitler’s haupt mentor was a Munich Jew afraid of the Ostjuden hords. Alfred Hitchcock’s film Rope where real or cinematic homoeroticism is displayed overtly between/the the two leading characters. The scene is a single uninterupted un-cut shot, with no bicycle clips in view so they probably got to the set, the crime scene by automobile, tramcar or subway.

Chicago, Homosexuality, Judaism, Nazism and Murder are linked albeit very tenuously with England and Unemployment when James Stewart as Rupert Cadell says ‘murder could conquer unemployment and poverty’. (tbc)

Baden Powell’s Scouting for Boys the inuendo laden title of the Boy Scouts Manual the Edwardian style of prose of the publication glibly refers to Killing the Unemployed. Robert Stephenson Smyth Baden-Powell Baden says they might be a ‘Model community, for they respect their Queen, and kill their unemployed’

In Jarrow c1975 there were no known enclaves of homosexuality only vague rumour links to ‘liberal’ and ‘politician’.

Obviously, all sexual persuations under the law are almost nearly now equal.

In Aberdeen in c1980 Grampian TV Continuity Announcer from Leeds’s catch phrase was ‘Ginger Peachy’, the main unusual phrase in the film Rope not voiced by John Dall the main character whose facinating portrayal of an upper class gay man easy to admire and empathise with, but by the young female debutant Joan Chandler playing Janet Walker.

The point is, its as well to remember the polar social origins of English politics even though it may be boring to Vote Labour in England, and people may not appear what they seem, it would be foolhardy to Vote for the Tories or BNP in England.

Ruhpolding to Bunny

August 23, 2009

Cycling up to Ruhpolding from Rosenheim would be an option but for the train journey to the nice dead end Bavarian resort of Ruhpolding. You may be The Four Mary’s or Four Go Mad in The Country mit lederhosen or not but the beauty of Ruhpolding is that it is maybe the first tourist trap and ringed by 1500 meter Bayerische Alpen and ring fenced by electric fences if you stray off the beaten track; How German!

See Ruhpolding used to have Essen factory workers near or already retired (in ruhestand) (in abendland) and very grey and tired looking from the wirtschaftswunder.

Young English (or German) couples however can break out from circuitous trodden paths to direct steep fluted tracks or scree slopes in the bergschrund across private electric fences, escaping therefore to the ridges overlooking the paradise of Ueber Bayern beyond see.

Bunny in Nottinghamshire near Bunny Hill a watershed to Loughborough beyond is open. The fields often have no gates optically giving visual and physical access to the slightly out of reach ridges where people seldom go but look up to as if glimpsing into The Night of Dreams, The Other Side or the Paradise of the Everyday albeit on a blazing August with a Perfect Cooling Breeze.

On a summers day Bunny Lane (Gotham Lane) in an ordinary way is The Most Perfect Place in England.

Groups of cyclists are often seen time trialling often on Racing Bikes thirty or forty years old, like Raleigh or Peugeots even Eddie Marx.

Perth

August 20, 2009


One of the longest bridges ever built was the rambling Tay Bridge linking The Kingdom of Fife to Dundee, when on the night of 28th December 1879, during a violent storm, the bridge collapsed taking with it a train carrying over seventy passengers. The train fell into the waters of the River Tay leaving no survivors. Vere west cycling via Broughty Ferry (typically BBC is in the leafy suburb) and Inchture along the drowned valley Firth of Tay or stay on the train with a picturesque view of Fife to Perth. You are not cycling in England but Perth has English connections.

Where the firth ends and the river begins, with it’s perfect provincial theatre Perth is more likely to be hosting the Liberal Party Annual Conference, Ian Hamilton Findlay or Iain Banks. (tbc)

Perth’s inverted snobbery allowed them to openly play cricket the playing of which heralding Scottish Independence.

Streets in the western half of Brockley Whins estate have Scottish place names and those in the eastern half have Australian ones. Which avenue runs down the middle?
Perth Avenue. This Links Jarrow, Australia and Scotland.

Deadly serious though Perth, Australia may have triggered the demise of Men’s World and the creation of Placenta World.

The City where grass is cut to two mm by bylaws, the home of Bond Helicopters and upper working class Keeping Up With The Jones’s Scottish and North England Emigrees obsessed by wealth and propery do to there own Low Selves, Quocka Soccer* on Rottnest Island may have created Germaine Greer and the Extreme Feminist Australian Intelectuals from Hanging Rock who flooded into England in the mid-1970s. (tbc)

Sir Les Patterson’s Aunt was, after all from Perth.(tbc)

Clearly Perth, Western Australia is conveniently (for the Rest of the World)isolated by a 700 mile wide desert linked only by a single sheep station road and a single track railway. (tbc)

The State and City of Perth is investigating piping water from the north as the desert pushes it in to the sea.

Nigel erstwhile Wag of Croydon when visiting Perth, W. Australia thought the houses were built so far apart because the occupants were so obnoxious.

The Nautilus may have surfaced there in Neville Shoot’s prophetic ‘On the Beach’ and then dived when they saw who had survived a Nuclear Armaggeddon Out Of Here Winter in the Northern Hemisphere.

*The authorities in Western Australia have promised to clamp down on a brutal ‘game’ that involves kicking to death wild animals.
The unfortunate creatures are quokkas, a small grey-brown cousin of the Kangaroo. They are found on Rottnest Island, just off the coast of Fremantle in Western Australia.
With no natural predators the animals are docile and friendly. When faced with danger instead of running away they simply roll themselves into a ball and wait for the trouble to go away.
Unfortunately this makes them easy pray for what the locals call ‘Quokka Soccer’.
The culprits are usually students who swarm to Rottnest during the long Australian summer holidays. Senior Wildlife Officer Doug Cochran says many students regard quokka soccer as a traditional way of celebrating the end of term:
“It’s just this hangover from the bad old days when people would go through high school and university and think that it’s a joke go out and kick a defenceless animal to death. They think it’s a rite of passage.

Gamston

August 19, 2009

‘Do Computers Know You Are Putting on Weight?’ by Philip Dick ? (tbc)

Syon Park

August 19, 2009

The Germans regard(ed) the English as eccentric but there is little evidence of this today.

The English, A German Tribe are cold, calculating and logical.

In Meanwhile Gardens though at The Home of the Bouncing Bomb, Teddington, England.

‘Researchers at England’s National Physical Laboratory are working on a device that uses a modified microwave measurement system, terahertz and far-infrared radio frequencies, and a clever cauliflower detection algorithm to let robots “see” beneath — and harvest — crops that current technology cannot.

So far, the imaging system has been successfully demonstrated in the lab, sparking the interest of at least one UK lettuce grower, and it looks like a product could be commercially available as early as next year. According to Dr. Richard Dudley, Project Lead at NPL, the team began by focusing on cauliflower crops because they’re both “one of the hardest” to measure, and totally gross.’

This would rival Migrant workers from Lithuania, Niger, Estonia, Chad, Afganistan, Portugal, Assam, Poland, Ivory Coast, Ukraine, Holland, Latvia, Algeria and Croatia working in English Fields in the summer.

Southwell

August 19, 2009

Germany and Berlin soon to be in ‘Aufschwung’ means that Berliner (Ich bin ein Schmalzbrod) cyclists could fly to East Midlands airport and see some echt England.

Southwell or Suthl the locals say Southwell and the northernmost outpost of King John’s ‘civilized’ world.

Between Nottingham and Sherwood a cemetary the dead were burried where they fell. Significant where Freemen fought against authority.

Southwell Minster also ‘free’ to the north of Nottingham. Minster means ‘Cathedral Church of a Free State’.

Nottingham is furthest from the sea, the local resort is Ingoldmells 75 miles away across wide and flat Lincolnshire and Skegness the terminus of a long railway from The English Midlands dedicated only to holidaying, funfairs and caravans . Who knows Mapplethorpe knows much about the people of the Midlands.

On a sandstone buttress across a vast Ice Age outwash plain the outcrop is riddled with caves: These can be visited.

A wide swath of south east Nottinghamshire is the soggy flood plain of the River Trent, a river which defines The Midlands. Despite endless strings of gravel pit lakes and wildfowl refuges there are no outdoor swimming Lidos in the whole of Nottingham County.

Therein lies a clue to Nottingham. The city is divided between the wealthy of country and poor of city. The wealthy are bordering on upper middle class nearly of Edwalton , West Bridgford and Southwell, but the vast majority reside in West Bridgford are dyed in the wool average English remote, complacent and aloof middle class based on formations from West Bridgford Scouts and Girl Guides. These have a historic self confidence Radcliff a Richard of Gloucester adjunct.

The poor are represented by a Pakistan Moslem faction in The Town House.

Significantly and in practice West Bridgford is guarded by the Trent across bridges and The Meadows which floods and rivulets once lapped the battlement threshold of Nottingham Castle.

Nottingham is therefore a microcosm of England. In common Nottinghamshire rich and poor is Secrecy in modus operandi. They do things without asking the people, the population because they can. There is taxation without representation.

Nottinghamshire will go on as the World’s globe or orb goes round. Nottingham however is a sick patient on a life support system, on a drip indefinitely. It is the poorest city in England.
The Salvation Army was founded in sad Sneinton hidden away from the tourists but exposing the vice of snobbery.

Nottingham wants to hide it’s past never mentioning Raleigh and Wills on Lenton Boulevard on the other side of the city and adjacent to Hysen Green the haunt of immigration and ladies of the night.

The vice of upper working class snobbery resides in the Town House yet the disinherited Indigenous Warts are not represented almost disenfranchised. The Mayor is a Pakistani Muslim. All the towns taxi drivers are from the Khyber Pass.

The Town House has no provision for young urban poor preferring to let them wander in from St. Annes, ignore them or find money for an annual funfair. This lack of pride in their own lads means nothing is done for them. This is the Sick Health and Safety, the overbearing Trading Standards who should be keeping restaurant kitchen’s clean.

Nottingham is Tops for Nightclubs, Car Parks, Shopping, Football and Cricket.

Remedies for the above are:-
1. Allow free market stalls and fly pitching to encourage unfettered enterprise
2.Build a City For The Homeless (A Workhouse) to Hide them from filtering through below the Town House
3. De-Ghettoise Students
4. De-Ghettoise Poor Areas
5. Promote blackberry picking, fishing and allotment cultivation on derelict parks and open spaces
6. Build A Bicycle Factory manned by Young Engineers
7. Create a Lido
8. Build a Workhouse for Directed Young Labour
9. Build a Workhouse for Directed Old Labour
10. Promote cycling and organic nutrition, build a high speed train to London and stop the cars on the Rennbahn (Ringbahn)

It’s a Numbers Game though, (too many Post-Industrial Poor) and Central Government wants to stop The Regions shinning outside London.

Lübeck

August 15, 2009


Lord Peter Mandelson of Hartlepool, unlike David Cameron and Boris Johnston is not known to be a keen cyclist. He owns a house in Notting Hill which was once a squat and by impure chance next door to where Bigger Splash Artiste David Hockney painted Mr and Mrs Clark and Percy. Just as well as after cycling down Westbourne Grove, Queensway is one way (the wrong way)and there are police mountian bike aces in Hyde Park and Kensington Gardens if he was late for the Palace of Westminster and cut a diagonal path across the semi-wild grassy biosphere to the Park Police HQ, Init. Mandel is the German word Almond and some emigres of Lübeck marzipan bizzarly ended up in England.

Herr Mandelnuss is though, on top of his game with words and mangled the interviewer with phrases like ‘you’re not interviewing yourself’ etc (tbc) which left the BBC man in masocistic exstacy. Peter’s maternal grandfather was Herbert Morrison, later Lord Morrison – a Cabinet minister in Clement Attlee’s Labour government, and eventually deputy prime minister and leader of the House. It would be therefore unfair not to mention that Mandelson is halachically socialist.

He belongs to the niche of almost plausible left wing Israelis politicians (the ones who were at one with The Garden City Movement, Hampstead Garden Suburb and Letchworth) and would be the first Israeli Prime Minister since Benjamin Disraeli. Benjamin had a special coaching track from Camden across Hampstead to his house in Hampstead.

Lord Mandlebaum is also old enough to have carried around a Disraeli Gears album round Hendon.

Herr Mandelnuss to his credit is a great orator and may be the only one to Stop The Tories.

Under The Tories and the Old Etonian Born to Rule David Cameron what might go are:-
1. National Trust
2. National Health
3. Town Halls
4. Crossrail
5. Typhoon
6. VLAC Very Large Aircraft Carriers
7. Nuclear Power Stations
8. Tax Credits
9. Income Support
10.Conmmunity Protection Officers

Cycle Lanes out to Eton and Notting Hill would improve though with a wooden bridge over the M25.