Archive for October, 2009


October 18, 2009


October 18, 2009

Cycling across the featureless moor through the necessary damp white mist into Roxburghshire (Dumfriesshire or Berwickshire) marked by a rampant lion carrying hammer and cickle single mace reminding you you are entering a zone of tribally pure (and therefore interbred characteristically ‘turning a blind eye’ to incest) nomadic Picts whose fickle and ferocious heritage is looting the dead bodies of English soldiers: It reminds you you are entering a Foreign Country.

These roving extended families guard the route up to Edinburgh where at Authur’s Seat (a magnificent volcanic buttress) the defence of Scotland is surrendered to Jacobite Tim Roth on a Dapple Mere.

As I Look North The View From England of Scotland evokes Queen Elizabeth’s ship off Newcastle intercepting Mary Queen of Scot’s and the cerebral edge English women have over Scottish women. Its important the Eliabethan warship was despatched from Newcastle.

John Knox graced England by staying for a short while exiled in Newcastle.

Briefly, on my imaginary cycle trip to Auld Rekie I muse England’s gleichschaltung under Scottish Government of England since James V became James I of England, under Scottish Born (Or Named) Britsh Prime Ministers* and yearned for English Independence from Scotland: The motto might be ‘Get Shot of A Scot’. Thinking a liitle deeper though on ‘Scotland The What’ and Andy Stewart and remember what Scotland is: A land of Golden Autumn run by The Gay Scottish Mafia and Doric speaking Scottish Widows.

*The Earl of Bute, George Gordon Earl of Aberdeen, Henry Campbell-Bannerman, Andrew Bonar Law, Ramsey McDonald, Harold Macmillan, Alec Douglas-Home, Tony Blair and ‘Son of the Manse’ Gordon Brown.

Melton Mowbray Town Estate

October 16, 2009

Melton Mowbray Town Estate

Everyman (I and I) judges his fellows as to their Mode of Transport. An eccentric spiv in coat tails and a ruff guiding a hoop and stick down High Street or Main Street, in say Melton Mowbray, is least offensive activating imaginary small cranes at the side of Everyman’s mouth to raise an involuntary simper.

The Top Ten Good Modes of Transport

1. Hoop and Stick

2. Walking, Strolling, Swimming, Roaming or Rambling

3. Cycle or Tandem

4. Hand Cart or Pump Trolley

5. Balloon, Bouncy Castle or Kite

6. Miniature Steam Enthusiast

7. Measuring Wheel

8. Pallet Truck

9. Trains, Ships and Hang Gliders

10. Hitchhiking

The Bad Modes of Transport

1. Cars

Everyman is not only an Observer and Artiste but An Ordinary Tourist.

The Top Ten London Tourist Attractions:-
British Museum, Tate Modern, National Gallery, Natural History Museum, London Eye, Science Museum, Victoria and Albert Museum, Madam Tussauds, Tower of London and National Maritime Museum.

The Top Ten England Tourist Destinations:- Stonehenge, Cambridge, Oxford, Hadrian’s Wall, Windsor, Port Sunlight, Imperial War Museum Salford, The English Lakes, Maiden Castle and The Vale of Pewsey.

The Top Ten UK Tourist Destinations:-


October 15, 2009

Vince Rea, MBE, Director of The Bede Gallery, Butcher’s Bridge Road, Jarrow said each personal elapsed decade revealed one elemental insight.

The Fourth Decade is Mortality, the Fifth Decade is Spirituality and the Sixth Decade is Deliverance. Travelling along Unique Personal Timelines key individual facts, known only to themselves, are registered or revealed to individuals.

German meteorologist Alfred Wegener first proposed his theory of continental displacement, later called continental drift, in 1912. Alfred Wegener ‘s insight into Creation was guided by his own invented philosophy to not look for complexity but for simplicity. Thus was it revealed cycling round Sullivan, Easter Ross, Scotland that The Oldest Rocks in the World here were once joined to New England.

Alfred Wegener’s insight joined a shortlist of similarly simple axioms used as Analytical Engines in The Inquisition I was carrying out on England and The UK Space.

The Top Ten Axioms are:-

1. Imagination springs from jungle primates visualising within the enclosure of jungles: The engine room of imagination. (There is no vista, which is Lion territory).
2. The Hopi Indians of North America have 16 words describing rabbit footprints in snow, but no word or words for ‘Time’.
3. Alfred Wegener: Look for Simplicity Not Complexity.
4. The Synaptic Nerves 500 input manifold single output yes or no after a short pause.
5. A rudimentary knowledge of computer noughts and ones, and or gates and machine code aids creativity.
6. There is nothing odd in using Microsoft Works Word Processor Thesaurus when writing poetry.
7. The Creative Engine of Modern English Art was The 1947 Education Act. (tbc)
8. The Rock Drill by Jacob Epstein was pivotal in the life of Anthony Gormley. *
9. Reading ‘Lust for Life’ biography of Vincent van Gogh provides a code for artists to follow.
10. Sea Level unaltered for 6000 years after The Ice Age effect on Visual/Optical aesthetic senses.
11. Welsh Mountain Ranger says ‘Time’ is natures way of separating everything.

* The Life and Works Artists as Guides: Vincent Van Gogh, Sylvia Plath, Kasper David Fredrick, Edward Hopper, Roy Lichtenstein, Patrick Caulfield, Robert Van der Graves, Aldous Huxley, Stanley Spencer, Vince Rea, Dante Gabriel Rossetti and John Martin. Read the artists not only rationally but emotionally and for symbols.

Cycling therefore becomes a Religious Allegory best described by taking you along a journey through Weston-super-Mare 27th July 2009 the day before the Grand Pier Weston-super-Mare burnt down.

Weston-super-Mare is enclosed by Brean Down peninsula headland, to the south and a high dark bronze age forested ridge to the north called Worlebury Hill.

Beyond Worlebury Hill is an ordinary suburb a ‘Sunder Land’ almost at where theres only one way through from Wicks Lane, Wick St Lawrence to Yeo Bank lane involving crossing a gut .

The Allegory is: The circuitous road draws one back to the World of Delivery** away from Deliverance.**

** Delivery and Deliverance are the two polar draws of the early 21st century of Consumerism and Spirituality.


October 11, 2009


Onomatopoeic Plumtree, is a small Nottinghamshire village east of West Bridgford beyond Ruddington. It lies where Nottinghamshire leaves Suburbia behind, Beyond the Fringe of Gamston, Tollerton and Edwalton. The View From Plumtree is better than it has been since 1960 due to the perfect weather as if God was leaving the best till last.

Reading the landscape whilst cycling with the guilt of a defrocked vicar, slinking through it in a saddle unable to be gushingly happy in mild October, 2009, despite feeling one was in The New Jerusalem in real time, animated and in 3D.

Like the electron never collides with the neutron, like the singularity of your personal event horizon one cannot become an apprentice God, but out in the Perfect Landscape it was Geography that made me.

Perception of and interaction with landscape is Near Paradise available to The Public but few take up the invitation, perhaps adding to the emptiness of The Space Between Cities.

The Making of the English landscape is akin to a parchment (once the earth’s rock throwing violence settled) on which successive layers of English Culture where laid down.

In order to arm yourself to read the terrain as you pass through The English Landscape, do the following ten things:-

(Don’t try reading whilst cycling, its dangerous: even on a tandem.)

(1)Visit Exhibition Road: The Science Museum, Exhibition Road, South Kensington, London SW7 2DD.

V&A South Kensington, Cromwell Road, London SW7 2RL

Natural History Museum, Cromwell Road, London SW7 5BD, UK.

(2)Read E.H Gombridge, (1977), The Story of Art, Phaidon Oxford, London

(3)Read Thieme Atlas of Anatomy: General Anatomy and Musculoskeletal System.

(4)Visit The National Gallery, The National Portrait Gallery and
Tate Britain. The Tate Britain Art Gallery, Millbank, London SW1P 4RG.

(5)Read Family and Friends in Eighteenth-Century England: Household, Kinship and Patronage by Naomi Tadmor “In seventeenth- and eighteenth-century England, we are told, the English family was characteristically nuclear …”

(6)Visit The Side Gallery, Newcastle upon Tyne. 9 Side, Newcastle upon Tyne NE1 3JE.

(7)Climb mountains Hellvelyn, Black Sails, Little Fell, Broad Crag, White Side, Pen Y Ghent, Crinke Crags, Red Pike, High Stile, Knock Fell, Rough Crag and Grisdale.

(8)Visit Slough, Eton, Windsor and Staines from Waterloo Station. Waterloo station
London SE1 8SW.

(9)Read English Journey: As Seen By One Man in 1933 by JB Priestley.

(10)Read History of the English Speaking People by Winston S. Churchill.

(11)Read I Claudius by Robert van der Graves. (BBC Series starring Sir Derek Jacobi).

(12)Listen to Richard Burton reading Dylan Thomas from Frances Goldberg, The Audiobook Store, 36 Baker Street, London,W1U 3EU, United Kingdom

(13)Swim in the Men’s Pond, Hampstead. Highgate Pond (mens Bathing) Pond on Hampstead Heath near Millfield Lane, N6. c/o Parliament Hill Park Office, Staff Yard, Highgate Road, London, NW5 1QR

(14)Study Sir Nikolaus Bernhard Leon Pevsner : The Pevsner Architectural Guides

(15)Study Isimbard Kingdom Brunel.

(16)Walk to Woolwich from Charing Cross via Tower Bridge. Take the train from Liverpool street to Shuburyness and cycle back to Woolwich.

(17)Get off the train at Didcott, Macclesfield and Doncaster, the meaningless in between stations and cycle cross country.

(18)Visit Durham City. Approach Durham City from stellar heavenly direction on a bicycle (Prudhoe, Bishop Aukland, Sunderland (Seaham Harbour) and Middlesbrough (via Castle Eden).

(19)Visit Raby Castle. Staindrop, County Durham, UK.

(20)Read Philip Larkin. Collected Poems by Philip Larkin. Faber and Faber.

(21)Watch the Lawrence Olivier World War II Trilogy Richard The Third, Henry V and Hamlet.

(22)Walk or cycle from Brighton to Peacehaven. Feel the day warming on the way and cooling on the way back.

(23)Read Confessions of an Actor: The Autobiography by Lawrence Olivier.

(24)Visit Dunstanburgh Castle in winter and walk to Alnwick.

(25)Cycle from Brighton to Bognor Regis.

(26)Visit Bosworth Field via Tamworth via Birmingham & Fazeley Canal.

(27)Read Great Expectations by Charles Dickens.

(28)Cycle to Ilam via Leek and Dovedale.

(29)Swim at Birling Gap.

(30)Find out as much about Aldous Huxley as you can and read The Devils of Loudon.


October 7, 2009

Board a train from London or the English Regions for Lancashire alighting at Liverpool. Being furthest from the dangerous and raging Continent of Europe here England is A Virtual Paradise. On the train, to Liverpool from Manchester (on a sandstone bluff near the confluence of the rivers Medlock and Irwell) knowing the Manchester Ship Canal is across an Esturine part of The Cheshire Plain, flat and to the south far enough away for me to have to imagine it.

Journeying west across Lancashire (the feeling of separateness as Liverpool is apart from Manchester as Darlington is to Stockton) is the feeling of going to a better place.

The most powerful and telling image of Englishness is to see Orthodox
Jews of Ashkenazi originals from Salford, Hackney and Gateshead, standing willfully apart from the rest of English holiday makers in unfashionable out of season resorts like Southport (ironically on The North Lancashire Coast): On The Beach, between seasons almost, they drift along the seafront (not spending money obviously) always charmingly affronted at any one of us having the temerity to address them.

How much does this tell of humanity’s love of Freedom and of Silences?

Lancashire’s joy is it’s remoteness from Europe. The railway network is most intense here as if Beeching’s wife was from Accrington. The towns though are fragmented but there is still time to overhear the pure distilled essence of Englishness: the rarified beauty of Lancashire small town (or Manchester Suburb of This or That) in local Lancashire speach patterns and dialects.

The strongest reserve of rational speach based talking England eminates from the girl’s schools of The Wirral and Crosby.

Walk out into Morcambe Bay beyond Southport Pier and see Chinese Cockle Gatherers, faint crouching figures on The Event Horizon of where the tide currently is, linking Lancashire with Guangdon and Pearl River delta.

Here the silence is complete. We are furthest away from trouble than we have ever been.

Here is a potential for empty silences: Is it any wonder Orthodox
Jews of Ashkenazi* sought and found refuge here?

* Here on The Island (Der Insel in German and Yiddish parlance) The most the largest concentrations of Orthodox Jews of Ashkenaziare are in:
• Stamford Hill in North London in the five wards of Brownswood, Cazenove, Lordship, New River and Springfield in the London Borough of Hackney, plus the ward of Seven Sisters in the London Borough
of Haringey.
• Broughton Park in North Manchester incorporating the wards of Broughton and
Kersal in Salford, and Sedgley in the Borough of Bury.
• There are also haredim in the Borough of Gateshead in Tyne and Wear, and in the
wards of Golders Green, Hendon and Edgware in the London Borough of Barnet.