Archive for the 'Barrow in Furness' Category

Perth

August 20, 2009


One of the longest bridges ever built was the rambling Tay Bridge linking The Kingdom of Fife to Dundee, when on the night of 28th December 1879, during a violent storm, the bridge collapsed taking with it a train carrying over seventy passengers. The train fell into the waters of the River Tay leaving no survivors. Vere west cycling via Broughty Ferry (typically BBC is in the leafy suburb) and Inchture along the drowned valley Firth of Tay or stay on the train with a picturesque view of Fife to Perth. You are not cycling in England but Perth has English connections.

Where the firth ends and the river begins, with it’s perfect provincial theatre Perth is more likely to be hosting the Liberal Party Annual Conference, Ian Hamilton Findlay or Iain Banks. (tbc)

Perth’s inverted snobbery allowed them to openly play cricket the playing of which heralding Scottish Independence.

Streets in the western half of Brockley Whins estate have Scottish place names and those in the eastern half have Australian ones. Which avenue runs down the middle?
Perth Avenue. This Links Jarrow, Australia and Scotland.

Deadly serious though Perth, Australia may have triggered the demise of Men’s World and the creation of Placenta World.

The City where grass is cut to two mm by bylaws, the home of Bond Helicopters and upper working class Keeping Up With The Jones’s Scottish and North England Emigrees obsessed by wealth and propery do to there own Low Selves, Quocka Soccer* on Rottnest Island may have created Germaine Greer and the Extreme Feminist Australian Intelectuals from Hanging Rock who flooded into England in the mid-1970s. (tbc)

Sir Les Patterson’s Aunt was, after all from Perth.(tbc)

Clearly Perth, Western Australia is conveniently (for the Rest of the World)isolated by a 700 mile wide desert linked only by a single sheep station road and a single track railway. (tbc)

The State and City of Perth is investigating piping water from the north as the desert pushes it in to the sea.

Nigel erstwhile Wag of Croydon when visiting Perth, W. Australia thought the houses were built so far apart because the occupants were so obnoxious.

The Nautilus may have surfaced there in Neville Shoot’s prophetic ‘On the Beach’ and then dived when they saw who had survived a Nuclear Armaggeddon Out Of Here Winter in the Northern Hemisphere.

*The authorities in Western Australia have promised to clamp down on a brutal ‘game’ that involves kicking to death wild animals.
The unfortunate creatures are quokkas, a small grey-brown cousin of the Kangaroo. They are found on Rottnest Island, just off the coast of Fremantle in Western Australia.
With no natural predators the animals are docile and friendly. When faced with danger instead of running away they simply roll themselves into a ball and wait for the trouble to go away.
Unfortunately this makes them easy pray for what the locals call ‘Quokka Soccer’.
The culprits are usually students who swarm to Rottnest during the long Australian summer holidays. Senior Wildlife Officer Doug Cochran says many students regard quokka soccer as a traditional way of celebrating the end of term:
“It’s just this hangover from the bad old days when people would go through high school and university and think that it’s a joke go out and kick a defenceless animal to death. They think it’s a rite of passage.

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